PC - McGillis

[maladied]

Comments

[vogelfrei]

A child can't refuse their parents. Not easily, and rarely meaningfully.

[ That's the problem, isn't it? Always, everywhere. ]

[vivisexual]

... I suppose so. You want to make your parents happy, after all.

But I feel like you're speaking from experience, McGillis.

[vogelfrei]

[ ... make your parents happy, huh? There's a wry smile at that. ]

Is that your question? Remember, you only get one.

[ Also oh, he's been upgraded to first name basis... He can't exactly complain, he'd been getting kind of sick of the Fareed name lately. ]

[vivisexual]

[I actually forgot but yeah they can be friends now.

Anyway he sighs why does this have to be transactional!!! Whatever, uno reverse:]

Technically it was a statement and not a question.

[vogelfrei]

A statement doesn't require an answer.

[ TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME, YUGAMU!! ]

[vivisexual]

You'd be a terrible coversationalist if you just let a statement that suggests a follow up fall dead.

[vogelfrei]

Is it falling dead? I'd say we are talking just fine. Bantering, even.

[vivisexual]

[Well now Yugamu is just going to lie here and stare at him because he's a little shit.

He also reaches up with his freak arms to grab the bowling ball from the return but for the moment he just holds it on his chest.]

[vogelfrei]

[ Oh, he's pouting now, huh... ]

I gave you my word while in a state of mind that a court might recognize as lacking legal accountability, and I'm still here to fulfill it.

[ To say nothing of the whole betrayal and murder thing that happened in between. ]

I think you should recognize I am meeting you halfway.

[vivisexual]

[Tch... Fine.]

Fine, fine. But I think what I want to ask is... If you could change one thing about your life, what would you change?

[vogelfrei]

[ .... ah. That's... hm, that's a good question. ]

How big of a change can it be? How early can it set in?

[vivisexual]

It's a hypothetical so I don't see a reason to set limitations. Whatever you like.

cw suicidal ideation

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis pauses for a moment, looking up at the ceiling of the arcade with its horrid fluorescent lights. ]

I would be born somewhere else, as someone else.

[ That's cleanest, isn't it? There is no other junction he could take that would spare him the pain. There is much he has accomplished in his life, he has friends and dreams... but being here, in this space, makes him realize how much all of it is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Was it worth it to come this far? He doesn't know. So if he has to live again, all over, throw the dice again and give him different starting conditions. ]

[vivisexual]

[Ok so his answer is to be a completely different person. Yikes.]

Are... You okay? There's not anything you'd miss from the life you have now?

[MCGILLIS LOOK AT THIS RARE GENUINE CONCERN AS YUGAMU ACTUALLY SITS UP.]

[vogelfrei]

[ WOW, can't a man express his deep desire to just not fucking exist in peace here?! Is this not a safe space suddenly?!

McGillis realizes he has said a little too much, but it's also... well, it's kind of cathartic to say it, so whoops. Sorry, Yugamu. ]

There are. But that is in itself a problem.

[ Eventually he's going to have to cut himself loose from his friends, or he'll suffocate. ANYWAY. Time to lighten (???) the mood. ]

Being a bird would be nice, don't you think? I'd like to experience that.

[vivisexual]

[Okay, this Yugamu sort of gets.]

Hm. I sometimes think about being reincarnated as a shellfish of some kind, so I get what you're saying in general.

[Animals have it easy.]

But it's just a fleeting thought when I'm tired of things. I couldn't ever... Actually give up what I have now.

some more suicide ideation....

[vogelfrei]

[ Yeah, that's... about where McGillis comes from. Being tired. Every day, the same pain, the same powerlessness. ]

I hadn't seriously thought about it in a long time - don't worry.

[ There's your bonus lore, Yugamu. It's... not exactly uplifting, but now you hold it in your hands. McGillis gets up from the floor, snatching the bowling ball from Yugamu as he does.

Maybe he should throw after all. ]

[vivisexual]

[He should. Yugamu remains on the floor, staring down the lanes.]

That's good. Though now I'm wondering...

If you found out that your whole life didn't actually happen and were just fabricated memories to give you incentive to do what you were designed to do, and you'd actually just been in a pod for 17 years... Would that make you relieved? Since you could just start fresh that way, like you said.

[vogelfrei]

[ That is... an extremely bizarre hypothetical. McGillis looks at the bowling ball in his hand, weighs it a little, and throws with considerable force.

If he thinks about that proposed scenario seriously, for even a moment... ]

Nothing could possibly make me angrier.

[ The ball hits the pins and knocks them all down flat. ]

[vivisexual]

[Don't worry about the extremely specific hypothetical.]

Okay, good! I think I'd be really angry at you if you'd said it sounded appealing.

[One of the overhead monitors starts playing an extremely elaborate strike animation.]

[vogelfrei]

[ Now that the Strike has landed and we are ignoring what is happening overhead (was that a crocodile??), McGillis gives Yugamu's expression a good look - once again from insanely up high because he's standing again, whoops.

Wild hypotheticals certainly seem up Yugamu's alley, but. Hm. ]

It doesn't seem like much can make you angry. Why this?

[vivisexual]

[There's appeal in this angle. It's fine.]

Hmmmmm. If I answer you, will you let me ask another question?

[vogelfrei]

[ McGillis considers this, but only very briefly. He hasn't really said anything all that factual about his life yet anyway. ]

I will. That's only fair.

[vivisexual]

[Nodding. McGillis has shown to be a man of his word so Yugamu won't demand he go first.]

It would make me angry because that's what happened to me.

[vogelfrei]

[ ... it's not that McGillis didn't see this coming, but it's still a lot. ]

That explains the strange leniency of your family.

[ Maybe how lowly he thinks of family shouldn't be his first thought here, but it is. Things clicked back into a place that makes sense, however cruel that sense is turning out to be. ]

What do you want to do about it? Fight for them, even still?