[Alhaitham says it because he knows. Because he was used to being alone, and relying on no one else, and felt the heartbreak when he put himself in someone's hands and learned how fragile human connection is.
But then Kaveh found his way back to him, and Alhaitham also learned how strong it is. That Alhaitham has come to rely on Tighnari and Cyno, on Cantarella and Hansa. That he's come to like Nilou, Nala, and Anaxagoras. There are many more people now that Alhaitham trusts, that matter to him.
And there are those that mean a little more because they pushed a little harder and decided to break open Alhaitham's ribcage before he could decide himself. Perhaps the real foolish thing was believing he could just will himself not to care about Lobelia.]
So you're agreeing now that your death isn't a solution for this. [No further harm includes you!!] You can ask me that but not for a bite off my plate?
["Maybe I don't need to die after all" is a sentiment Lobelia would never voice aloud. So he only smiles, quietly pleased, that Alhaitham can read the answer anyway.
He lifts his wine glass and lets it swirl lazily in his palm. The taste is sweeter now, though the wine hasn't changed. Good company has that effect. Friends. People who, without asking permission, carve out small, startling spaces in his heart. That is where Alhaitham resides, and Lobelia finds himself fuller for it.]
Some questions are easier to ask than others. Some answers are simply... understood. And as for demands, unrealistic ones have never stopped you before.
[Two men who have spent most of their life believing they only needed themselves and learned hey, friends are great. Perhaps it is worth being seen. In a way, Lobelia is learning this faster than Alhaitham truly did. He thought Kaveh would remain a singular exception in the years after losing him. Then he overthrew the government and now he's suddenly surrounded by people who when they look for him, he actually wants to be found.]
Perhaps I just don't see them as unrealistic as you do.
[And maybe Lobelia has caught on fast, acclimating to the reality that most people are good and find satisfaction in helping others. There's no greater price to be paid... and yet Lobelia still can't help but feel that what he demands of others is much. By now, he understands that to be a feeling he simply has to get over.
He cuts himself a bite of steak. The food is good, granted, but he eats to buy himself time to chew over their conversation.]
No, perhaps not. I do wonder how much I could demand of you before you lost your patience, however.
[And he'd have fun pushing every button he could find, even knowing he would be opening himself up to the same treatment. Honestly, that part's fun too.]
Everyone has a hard limit— a breaking point. Simply... when will you tell me no, Alhaitham?
[Alhaitham snorts.] That's because I know you're looking for a reaction. If you want one, you're going to have to do something more than the grating dramatics you use to annoy everyone else.
Mm! Right. Because you're spoiled, what works for others simply won't do for you. I have to give you something unique. Something just for you.
[Hm... but what would that something be? While he thinks, he's stealing a sip from Alhaitham's glass. Who cares if he's being rude? Alhaitham's not going to fuss over manners.]
But I can't offend you too much, or you'll grow tired of me. I wonder... did Kaveh annoy you?
Kaveh's repeated detriment to himself can be frustrating, but not what you're asking for. [--And Lobelia snatches the glad just before Alhaitham's fingers skate the rim.
Well then. Alhaitham is going to reach for Lobelia's glass with a suddenness to not be denied, so he can take a bigger sip. They are literally drinking the same wine.
[They're idiots? They're idiots. Lobelia audibly gasps at the audacity of Alhaitham one upping him with an even bigger gulp of wine. Two men who pride themselves on their intelligence should not be reducing themselves to drinking for sport... and yet here they are.
Not to be outdone, Lobelia tips his head back and drains Alhaitham's glass in one long pull. The emptied glass is returned to the table with a muted clink.]
I think you yearn for the days where he incensed you, drove you not to anger, but right to the edge of it. It's enlivening, isn't it? Knowing someone can stir such feelings in you.
[Alhaitham's grin widens, polishing off Lobelia's glass himself--and then grabbing the wine bottle so he can drink from it instead.]
I never claimed he didn't stir feelings in me. [He starts to pour more wine into the glass which has now become his.] Though I think the word you're looking for is "passion". You're trying to find a singular explanation but if things were so simple, Kaveh wouldn't have my interest at all.
[Let alone his dedication.] You'd understand if you could meet him. He's a complicated man, but brilliant and surprising.
[Lobelia lets out a low whistle— impressive. At this rate, they'll need another bottle... a wish easily facilitated by Lobelia scanning the wine menu, wishing for a bottle of Banyuls. Sweet, dark, refined. Perfect for this little dick measuring contest. He'll neck it, of course, following Alhaitham's lead.]
Mm... and I would love to meet him. But I do enjoy watching you tell on yourself, Alhaitham... over and over again.
[In brief, this man has a type. Lobelia can't help but chuckle, lips loosened by the wine.]
You would lose interest if he were anything short of brilliant, I imagine. But if it were only his intellect you found so stimulating, he would not be such a permanent fixture in your mind. It's rather... cute, really. Your tendency to fixate.
[Speaking of fixation, Alhaitham sees that's a new bottle and is contemplating how to get it from Lobelia as he sips from the glass again.]
And what about you? Not even death could get your mind off of Ramuda. [Not that Alhaitham is terribly embarrassed about how he feels about Kaveh, because who wouldn't fall in love with Kaveh? But obviously he has to turn it around.]
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But then Kaveh found his way back to him, and Alhaitham also learned how strong it is. That Alhaitham has come to rely on Tighnari and Cyno, on Cantarella and Hansa. That he's come to like Nilou, Nala, and Anaxagoras. There are many more people now that Alhaitham trusts, that matter to him.
And there are those that mean a little more because they pushed a little harder and decided to break open Alhaitham's ribcage before he could decide himself. Perhaps the real foolish thing was believing he could just will himself not to care about Lobelia.]
So you're agreeing now that your death isn't a solution for this. [No further harm includes you!!] You can ask me that but not for a bite off my plate?
no subject
He lifts his wine glass and lets it swirl lazily in his palm. The taste is sweeter now, though the wine hasn't changed. Good company has that effect. Friends. People who, without asking permission, carve out small, startling spaces in his heart. That is where Alhaitham resides, and Lobelia finds himself fuller for it.]
Some questions are easier to ask than others. Some answers are simply... understood. And as for demands, unrealistic ones have never stopped you before.
no subject
Perhaps I just don't see them as unrealistic as you do.
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He cuts himself a bite of steak. The food is good, granted, but he eats to buy himself time to chew over their conversation.]
No, perhaps not. I do wonder how much I could demand of you before you lost your patience, however.
[And he'd have fun pushing every button he could find, even knowing he would be opening himself up to the same treatment. Honestly, that part's fun too.]
Everyone has a hard limit— a breaking point. Simply... when will you tell me no, Alhaitham?
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[Just not on Alhaitham's investment on solving this problem while also saving Lobelia, fool that he is.]
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[Can a man be blamed for wanting to rile up Alhaitham? Lobelia sighs, taking a sip from his glass.]
You're cutest when you're up in arms. I'll just have to work harder.
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[Takes a ragebaiter to know a ragebaiter.]
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[Hm... but what would that something be? While he thinks, he's stealing a sip from Alhaitham's glass. Who cares if he's being rude? Alhaitham's not going to fuss over manners.]
But I can't offend you too much, or you'll grow tired of me. I wonder... did Kaveh annoy you?
[lol]
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Well then. Alhaitham is going to reach for Lobelia's glass with a suddenness to not be denied, so he can take a bigger sip. They are literally drinking the same wine.
But he still looks amused.] What do you think?
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Not to be outdone, Lobelia tips his head back and drains Alhaitham's glass in one long pull. The emptied glass is returned to the table with a muted clink.]
I think you yearn for the days where he incensed you, drove you not to anger, but right to the edge of it. It's enlivening, isn't it? Knowing someone can stir such feelings in you.
no subject
I never claimed he didn't stir feelings in me. [He starts to pour more wine into the glass which has now become his.] Though I think the word you're looking for is "passion". You're trying to find a singular explanation but if things were so simple, Kaveh wouldn't have my interest at all.
[Let alone his dedication.] You'd understand if you could meet him. He's a complicated man, but brilliant and surprising.
no subject
Mm... and I would love to meet him. But I do enjoy watching you tell on yourself, Alhaitham... over and over again.
[In brief, this man has a type. Lobelia can't help but chuckle, lips loosened by the wine.]
You would lose interest if he were anything short of brilliant, I imagine. But if it were only his intellect you found so stimulating, he would not be such a permanent fixture in your mind. It's rather... cute, really. Your tendency to fixate.
no subject
And what about you? Not even death could get your mind off of Ramuda. [Not that Alhaitham is terribly embarrassed about how he feels about Kaveh, because who wouldn't fall in love with Kaveh? But obviously he has to turn it around.]