PC - Nozomi

[maladied]

Comments

[rescuebullet]

That's fine too. I'm sure we can have plenty of fun with what you managed to find.

[Not that she's really done her own nails before.

She'll take the blankets off of her bed and add them to the pile, taking a seat in the blanket and pillow pile.]

How are you feeling?

[vivisexual]

Better! Everyone helped calm me down. I'll be fine as long as I don't thing about what happened too much. And then I'm sure I'll be totally recovered by tomorrow!

[Hopefully. Let him disconnect his brain again.]

What about you? Here's the colors I managed to find, by the way.

[He has a purple, a red, and a pink polish as options.]

[rescuebullet]

As long as you're okay, I'm okay. [She'll take his hand and squeeze lightly in what she hopes is an act of companionship. Trust her, won't you?] I'll be here for you, no matter what happens tomorrow.

That's a pretty shade of purple. It's a shame there wasn't a black. [Yugamu's style!]

[vivisexual]

Hehe, I thought you'd like the purple. And I know! I looked all over the junk shop but couldn't find a black! So I think I'll just match whatever you pick.

[Anyway.]

The same to you. Whatever happens, I'm going to do my best to help you and everyone else. Even if...

[He coughs. NO. DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE DEAD PEOPLE FROM THIS MORNING.]

I-

[He raises his hand to his mouth and bites down on the meat of his hand by his thumb so hard it draws blood.]

[rescuebullet]

[ IMMEDIATELY ALARMED. Trying to take his hand in her own and very gently trying to take his hand out of his mouth. ]

Yugamu... let's try to focus on right here and now. It's just the two of us in the room right now. We're okay.

[ Everything is terrible outside of these walls, but at least they have each other. ]

[vivisexual]

[She is able to take it. He already accomplished his intended distraction. He's only bleeding a little.]

Right, right, sorry. It's a lot harder for me to ignore my base impulses today. I knew the pain would distract me.

[rescuebullet]

[She'll clean up the blood with the corner of a blanket, gently keeping hold of his hand.]

It's a hard day. [They can't dwell on it right now.] Anything else you want to do to distract yourself? I'll do whatever you need.

[vivisexual]

Nozomi... You really can't keep saying that to me.

[Sigh!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT SOUNDS!!!]

Here. Give me you hand, you want the purple polish, right?

[rescuebullet]

I'll keep saying it and I'll keep meaning it.

[She does, actually.

She's never let go of his hand, but she will shift the hand holding so he can apply polish.]

Let's go with the purple.

[vivisexual]

Well you shouldn't mean it. You know I'm an unrepentant pervert given to reading innuendos into everything.

[Anyway he's going to start applying polish.]

[rescuebullet]

I know you. I trust you.

[ If she was a little braver, maybe she'd bridge that gap, insist a little harder. There's something so difficult about that. So she lets that sit in the air between them.

She holds her hands still for him, watching as he paints. ]

[vivisexual]

[He pauses, hesitates, for a moment, before refocusing on the task at hand.]

You should save that sort of thing for someone you actually like romantically, Nozomi.

[rescuebullet]

[ She watches the hesitation and. Okay. She isn't wanted that way. That's fine. As far as rejection goes, this one is gentle.

She fixes her smile in place, drops her gaze to Yugamu's hands. ]

So... Is there anyone you like that way?

[vivisexual]

[He doesn't stop moving this time, but he does hum a little in thought.]

Of course, lots. I feel like maybe I became someone who loves easily because so few people are going to reciprocate towards someone like me, you know? I learned to find the appeal in lots of sorts of people... Or maybe I just want to put more love out into a world I've taken so much from. I don't know.

I tell people I'm in love with Takumi but honestly... At this point he feels so unattainable to me, especially now having been away from him for weeks, that it feels more abstract than romantic love.

[rescuebullet]

[ ... ] You're a kind person, Yugamu.

You deserve somebody who loves you the way you want. I know you'd be a good partner. [ She barely knew Takumi as a person. She can't speak on him or what he wants or his actual desires. ] There's probably a lot of different kinds of love. You don't need to be able to name it to feel it.

[vivisexual]

And I know I love you. You're like a wildflower. Delicate and pretty, but even if you look like the slightest force could break you, you keep going, you persist. And you stick to what you believe even if it kills you.

[He paints the last nail on the hand he's holding.]

I want to protect you from people that would take advantage of that selfless kindness of yours.

[rescuebullet]

[ She can feel her face heating up. It's both embarrassing and extremely flattering that he has this opinion of her. The words don't come to her quickly, but she does manages a quiet, charmed. ] Thank you.

I know you're not the type that needs protection, but do what I can for you. I love you too.

[vivisexual]

I'm not, but it's nice to feel cared for, even if-

[WAIT.]

You- You just mean that as a friend though. Right? I'm not your type. Surely.

[rescuebullet]

[ There's a moment of hesitation, because there always is with this kind of thing. She doesn't have experience with romance or and of these soft and tender feelings. ]

I don't really know what my "type" is. You've always been kind. You're always trying your best for everyone around you. Of course I... [ She stumbles over her words and her feelings. ]

Anyone would be lucky to have you that way. [ Because there's no way he loves her romantically... right? ]

[vivisexual]

[These two going in circles about this I'm going to kill them both with my mod powers.

Yugamu starts on the other hand because he needs the distraction.]

It's really a testament to your kindness that you'd say that an mean it. I'm a murderer, a freak. I come on too strong, and my interests are too weird. I don't know if I'll ever find someone who'll love me completely and that's fine. I don't mind loving others one sidedly.

You're the one anyone would be lucky to have, Nozomi.

[rescuebullet]

[ She's SO sure she's currently being rejected and she ALSO can't bring herself to force the point any further than this right now. ]

It's not like any of us have normal lives. [ As far as she knows they were sent to war. They're all murderers in that sense. ] I love you for the person you are.

[ It doesn't have to be one sided.

...

Maybe something about her is just inherently unlovable. ]

[vivisexual]

[The mean voice in Yugamu's head tells him she doesn't mean that. She's being nice. She means as a friend. Don't overreact and ruin it. You'll just scare her away. You always do. And you were fine with it because you expected it. You acted freely because you knew your friends would always be fleeing. Everything is always fleeting. You've never had such the heavy responsibility of keeping someone alive, only making them dead.

If you really do scare her away, someone else will look after her. Everyone here is so kind. You'll be at arms length again like you're supposed to be.

Ultimately it doesn't matter because today he can't keep his emotions bottled up, and Nozomi just offered him the words he can't resist.

So he caps the bottle of nail polish and leans in to kiss her.]

[rescuebullet]

[ She's not scared of Yugamu. He's someone she knows, and likes and loves. The thing she's scared of is being abandoned, a part of her that's terrified of rejection. That's what's made this so difficult.

At least he knows he's loved, even if she's not the one he wants.

So much of this conversation felt like a very gentle one that she's surprised when he comes in for the kiss. Eyes going wide for a moment before relaxing into it.

With the way she's kissing back clumsily, it's obvious she's never done this before. ]

[vivisexual]

[For all his talk, Yugamu's not practiced either, but once it's clear Nozomi isn't going to push him away, there's nothing he can do to hold himself back. He's unrestrained, ravenous, and before he can think better of it, he's pushing her onto her back against the pillows and blankets strew across the floor.

He pauses, just to say;]

I've decided I'm going to love you so fiercely you'll have no choice but to realize how incredible you really are. I'm going to make you unapologetically yourself like a proper Omokage.

[Did he just tell Nozomi he was going to marry her???? Whatever he can unpack that later. He goes back in for another kiss as his hands start moving to the buttons of her shirt.]

[rescuebullet]

[ This is fast. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the quickness of it all is overwhelming... But not in a bad way.

There's a breathless laugh as she registers what he's saying. ]

Are you proposing? Already?

[ She won't push him away, looking up at him with a sweet, inviting smile. ]