PC - Hansa

[maladied]

Comments

[conchy]

[...]

To be happy. Because I deserve to be.

[Lobelia's smile widens. It doesn't reach his eyes.]

[robopriest]

You do deserve to be happy.

[He does.]


Are you happy, Lobelia?

[conchy]

Happy? Undoubtedly. But you remember what I said about fate, don't you? It isn't so easily defied.

[robopriest]

Is that why you wanted me to kill you? To end yourself at your happiest?

[To let that be that last thing he felt?]

[conchy]

Non. The cost is no longer worth the return. Simple economics.

And if those who made that happiness possible lose their lives for it... can you call that a fair exchange?

[robopriest]

Ah.

[He thinks he sees now, smiling bittersweetly.]

You care so much that you can't bear to lose it all. Such is the nature of being human.

[conchy]

...Is that what you took from it?

[He stares at Hansa, bemused.]

Most people would be angry.

[robopriest]

What should I take from it? I might be mostly machine, but I'm human too.

[Such IS the nature of being human.]

Should I be angry?

[conchy]

Because you said it yourself: you're not fine. By all rights, you should be angry. Just look at what my humble wish has cost you.

[robopriest]

....

I "should" be angry. I "should" be this. "Should" be that.

[He laughs, but its not a happy one - actually, he IS pissed off, but not because of that, it's because-]

You're so damn arrogant. God detests the arrogant heart. Don't tell me what I "should" feel, actually. Shut up, and let me care.

[conchy]

[Lobelia can't fight back a genuine grin. Ah. There it is.]

Arrogant? Très bien. I'll wear it proudly so long as it keeps you so brutally honest.

Go on then. Care, if you insist. I won't tell you otherwise.

[robopriest]

I've always been honest with you.

[He wants to shake him. He wants to throw him like a javelin. Terrible, stupid, Lobelia.]

[He closes his crystalline eye, pained.]

I'm just.....tired. I'm tired.

[conchy]

[...Ah. His grip on Hansa's shoulders softens.]

Tired? You have every right to be. I'm not telling you what to feel, Hansa. I just— forget, sometimes, that you feel anything for me at all.

[And Hansa isn't the only one. The more people care, the heavier the burden.]

Spare some compassion for yourself. Wear yourself down to nothing and the people who care for you will suffer. You know that.