maladied: (Default)
grabs by the throat ([personal profile] maladied) wrote2025-11-01 12:05 am

GRAVEYARD


So, you’ve met your end and regardless of your beliefs, the expectation is that is where things end. Rebirth. Damnation. Salvation. A simple black screen… None of those things happen; how (un)fortunate for you. How jarring it must be to have your last moments not be your final moments. On the bright side, all the injuries you’ve sustained are no longer present. You’re as good as new!

Now, whether you’ve met your end violently, peacefully, or something between the two, you’ll find yourself sat in front of a sprawling behemoth of a wall tastefully covered from floor to ceiling (where is the ceiling?) with various objects on display. All of them carefully and neatly framed or kept safe within a box attached to the wall. Not only that, but there are cages hanging from the “ceiling” that contain even more objects for viewing. However, other than the walls, the hanging cages, and the bench—there is no padding on the bench; only a cold, hard surface that does not give—you find yourself sitting on, the rest of this room is completely empty.

At least, after giving a survey of the area, it will be obvious that it isn’t an enclosed space. There is an opening to a hallway—hopefully. Only one way to find out. Spoilers, there are many, many, many other rooms that make up this place.

Oh, but just what is all out on display?

Well, it varies and depends on who is looking. The hanging cages contain skeletons of creatures from home. Whose home? Your home. It’s the same story for everything that has been framed. They’re all images, items, objects—things—from home. Your home. Fortunately, not everything is familiar as unfamiliar items are included in equal parts. How did they all get here? What are they all doing here?

Have you considered the similarities between a museum and a graveyard? Both are places where the living go to marvel at the dead.

EXHIBIT #04 - COMFORT


Likely the first room that you’ll come across after moving from the initial room. This room feels just as grand and just as empty as that room, but at least the walls aren’t covered in things from (your) home. Instead, there will be surfaces to claim, if you wish. Beds, sofas, couches, chaises lounge, bean bags, you name it—if someone could consider it comfortable then it will be present in all shapes, sizes, and variations. The only real catch is that each surface will be displayed individually and cannot be moved. Obviously.

Against one of the walls is a very small plaque that reads:

[ FOR DISPLAY ONLY – DO NOT TOUCH ]

Oops.

EXHIBIT #09 - VIEWING


What’s a museum without some sort of media installation, hm?

For this room, there is only one thing and one thing only—a projector. For much of the time the projector being on (you can’t turn it off. In fact, where is the projector?), it won’t be displaying anything but a white light on the blank wall opposite of it.

However, while the wall is blank, every so often it’s possible to hear faint voices coming from above. Especially during the night before—you know.

EXHIBIT #03 - GARDEN


It’s here that you can finally see the ceiling even if it’s still more of a “sky” than a true ceiling. Those with keen eyes will be able to tell that it’s an artificial sky, and, for those who are less aware, then how it randomly flickers should help with that. Or not. Regardless, the presence of a “sky” isn’t the only surprising thing about this room—it might not even be the first thing that goes noticed. Despite all the expansive and seemingly never-ending hallways that lead to rooms that are void of anything living, this room is alive. Somehow.

A small plaque on the wall will describe this exhibit as an “interactive” medium with gentle suggestions to not be too rough with anything. This exhibition will be a picturesque garden full of all kinds of flowers and plants with a small pond with lily pads and lotus located towards the center of the room. The only physical structure within this room is a very small and simple gazebo containing two chairs and a small table. Perfect for having afternoon tea—if that’s your kind of thing. However, if you were hoping to listen to any bird song, look at what animals have taken residence in the pond, or generally any other kind of life then you’ll be disappointed.



EXHIBIT # — ???


Nothing is on display in this room; all that is there is just empty walls, empty “ceilings”, empty floors…

The only thing that can be found is a small, simple white card free from any kind of writing. A completely blank card. If you try to take it out of the room, it will instantly disappear from wherever it was stored and return to the room.

vogelfrei: (serious; reflecting on agnika)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-07 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He does notice the way Ramuda's voice drops in energy but he can't really do anything about that now, can he?

There's a mismatch here and after all the trouble just Assuming has brought lately, he wants to draw the lines again. ]


I'd like to, yes.

[ He just died. Might as well plunge the knife in deeper and have a conversation of the kind he'd normally never have. ]
lollidrops: (That's how it should be but)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-07 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ ramuda wonders if he should have grabbed a cigarette from his pocket instead of a lollipop but that's fine. he can just bite his way through this and rectify it pretty quickly.

now that they're no longer holding hands, he pulls his knees up to his chest to get more comfortable and not for any other reason (so he thinks, but the truth is he doesn't quite know right now, he's exhausted in a certain kind of way and there's nothing for it but to push through it.) ]


Ooookay. First of all! I like who I like and I do things with them that I like and I don't think too hard on it. Why would I? I could die tomorrow, I did die so what's the point in holding back? One way or another, those things never last.

[ whether he cuts them off or is forced to cut them off is another story entirely, but that's almost another topic. ]

So I meant what I said to you in the arcade. [ what happened in a universe without the effects of that week or without yugamu crashing their party? ]

Part of me still means it. [ crunch goes the hard sugar in his mouth, the sharp edges some kind of relief compared to everything else he's feeling. ]

I don't commit to relationships and I don't trust people. But I messed up. [ he's so defective and he's aware of that more every day he clings to this facsimile of a life.

the cigarette he fishes from his pocket is lit in short order. ]


...you've both seen a lot of me. More than I ever wanted to show. But he—he's seen all of me. He wouldn't let me run away. Even when I went to scream at him after trial he...

[ the details don't matter here, do they? ramuda shakes his head.

there's still that wiggling part of him that wants to scream at lobelia again, but this is who he is. emotional, volatile, cruel, desperate, childish, holding onto these things he was never supposed to have. ]


...we figured something out then. [ his eyes close briefly as he presses the cigarette to his lips. ] Or he did and I didn't really get it fully until after.

Sorry for not being able to say this all sooner. I want to stuff that prick into a barrel and make him explode all over Tokyo bay for trying to rub that in your face.

[ the way in which he hates althahaim is layered and nuanced, but it really has nothing to do with ramuda actually feeling jealous. it truly is a terrible combination of being a know it all and fucking with his people. ]

Anyway, that doesn't make what I felt for you fake or a lie. Or that you're really important to me.
vogelfrei: (sad; sinister; agnika dreams)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-07 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It would be too much said that it hurts. It's more that it's a dull feeling that layers over with the phantom pain in his guts, an ever-growing wrongness. ]

I know.

[ It would be a lot more convenient if he just didn't believe Ramuda. Call it all a lie, himself a man betrayed, and then let it make him grow even more angry and bitter than he already is. Case closed.

This is messier. ]


And I understand the feeling. I messed up in the same way.

[ Every unguarded thing he's said, every promise he's made to Ramuda. They were horrible mistakes that McGillis would like to think he'd never have made under ordinary circumstances.

He leans back and looks up at the endless distance to an invisible museum sky. ]


You should be proud of yourself. You made me consider breaking my solitude. Nobody's done that before.

[ But obviously, that consideration is off the table now. ]
lollidrops: (What I had kept in my pocket)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-07 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ of all the ways mcgillis could have said it, he says it like that.

it's his right of course, but that makes something in ramuda's chest bloom angrily. ]


Proud of myself?
vogelfrei: (serious; sad; make you happy)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-07 07:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ McGillis notes the anger and it's not the reaction he wanted to cause. He phrased it as he did to protect himself, not to cast barbs.

He wishes he was angry enough at Ramuda to wish to blow all this up and completely uproot their bond. But he doesn't. He doesn't have enough to turn to without it. ]


It means you're precious to me too, despite all my defenses.
lollidrops: (Making a pink love fall)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-07 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he huffs and throws the remains of his cigarette off to god knows where. maybe the museum will all burn down.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. he pulls out another one and lights it, swallowing the smoke like he wishes he could swallow his emotions. ]


You're so— [ :worryexplodekirby: ]

...do you know what I am, McGillis?
vogelfrei: (surprise; serious; huh)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-07 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ That's not the question he expected here. ]

I don't.

[ Something is certainly up with the way he needs to be kept alive, but McGillis doesn't know the particulars of it. ]

Though I can't imagine that the information would make me change my mind significantly.
lollidrops: (That I can live in)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-07 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Probably!!! [ as always when he's like this, his emotions are directed entirely inward.

fuck it! ]


I'm a clone, just one of however many fucking Ramuda Amemura's that Amayado's pulled together in his lab. Actually, Chuohku's probably barely noticed I've been gone since they'll just roll out another me!

Though no, Ichijiku's definitely noticed cause the others all WORK and aren't defective like I am, with emotions I'm not supposed to have!

So saying that I'm precious really is just so— [ he laughs and just buries his head in his knees.

he wishes he could say he didn't believe it. but he does at this point, he does unequivocally, but it still makes all of him tremble. ]
vogelfrei: (smile; sad; final resolve)

cw for mention of csa

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-07 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[ McGillis didn't see this coming, but when he does it feels like a lot clicks into place.

It suddenly makes sense that despite all his misunderstandings of who Ramuda is as a person, despite the way all those pesky feelings sit so wrongly with McGillis, he hasn't been able to let go.

Ramuda is curled up into a ball besides him and he looks a lot like a child this way. Like Almiria. Like himself from so long ago.

McGillis turns to the side and wraps his arms around him. ]


You're the only one I've met. And the only one I need to meet.

[ Precious. An encounter equally blessed and misfortunate. ]

My father has a summer house.

[ A total nonsequitor on its face, but he doesn't wait for answer and just continues. ]

It's where he keeps dozens of blonde little boys, all according to his fetish. It's the only reason I'm here today. One of many 'little angels', fighting my way out of the bunch.

[ It's good that he doesn't need to look at Ramuda's face in the current position. It's easier to talk, that way. ]

All that matters is wanting to fly free. For you and for me.
lollidrops: (The days are becoming fragmented)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-07 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[ oh...

he doesn't expect the hug nor does he expect the words that follow, not a single one.

he's shaking more than a little and is definitely crying, but held like this he knows no one will see it. even if mcgillis can likely feel it. he needs the quiet, the warmth between them to find words again, to find his voice; a blend of his natural voice and his usual one. he's a mix of all his reflections right now and it shows easily in his voice, given the type of person he is. ]


...I want to. And I want you to, too.

Wherever, whatever, you want to do. [ destroy that summer house, take over the world, become a golden hero for the new ages; ramuda thinks mcgillis deserves it all. ]
vogelfrei: (sad; smile; ahahaha fuck)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-07 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's impossible to not notice that tears are falling now, but McGillis won't comment on it. He doesn't remember when the last time he cried is - or even if he ever did - but he knows how important it is for other people to do. When Gaelio cried, all the way back when they were children, they'd sit side by side, shoulder to shoulder. When Almiria cries, he'll hold her. It's not unlike this. It's something he knows how to do for somebody else. ]

I might have lost sight of what that is.

[ It terrifies him. All that he's built himself up to be is crumbling under the weight of not only cosmic horror but also the very base fact that he himself is changing. That he's the kind of person who would be so sincere that someone else can cry. ]
lollidrops: (I'm still stuck before another wall)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-08 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
That's okay, you can find something else. You're not the same person as you were yesterday and you won't be the same person as you are tomorrow. But you're still you, in each one.

[ maybe the words are ironic coming from a clone, but ramuda learned long ago about what being "original" is to him.

it's why he values what he does, who he does, the hues and people who stand out in a storm and who stubbornly refuse to bend to the tide. ]
vogelfrei: (sad; guess not)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-08 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ It makes McGillis think back to Ramuda's death, to his last mistake to make. To think that Ramuda had a real voice he was hiding, that the beauty of it was a dropping of a mask - but that's not what Ramuda is like.

And it's not what he is like either.

He's not a liar, and this is not an act. Who he truly is... is simply someone between seats. Hidden in the shadows, forever half-seen and half-unseen. ]


You truly find poetry in this space in-between.
lollidrops: (Off to a new world)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-08 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
[ he laughs a little, in spite of everything. his tears have slowed, but he still wants to hide for just a bit longer. ]

I gotta...my life usually depends on it. I'm sure you'll take to it well too.
vogelfrei: (smile; the softest)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-08 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
My poetry was Agnika Kaieru - all kinds of strength in this world, embodied in one person - one man fighting for a world where we all could truly live freely as humans. People like you and I, existing and rising by our own strength.

[ He sounds immediately more spirited as he goes back to this story that Ramuda's already heard before. It's nice to talk about it, after all.

And he'll keep holding Ramuda, as long as it takes - even if it's likely to be the last and only time. ]


A world where nobody could deny you. A world where I needn't take another name to live.

[ He wants that, even now. To open those doors.

But then... ]


I'll need much much more power if there are things like the wish giver out there.
lollidrops: (I'm gonna clap my hands and celebrate)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-08 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
[ it's good to hear mcgillis like this, ramuda thinks.

not so long ago, being told such fanciful things would have kicked something in his chest. the reflex is still there though it passes, like holding in a hiccup. ]


Do you really think power is everything? [ it's an honest question, bare curiosity and not pointed. ]
vogelfrei: (sinister; smile; behind these eyes)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-08 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
I do.

[ There is no hesitation, because with Ramuda he does not need to censor himself anymore. Foolish as it may have been, he's finally handed over the pieces of his past and made himself vulnerable. Maybe he'll regret this when he has had time to calm down from his experience with dying. It is likely that he will. And still.

Right here, he's gathering strength again. ]


Power is at the start and end of everything.
lollidrops: (you know right?)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-08 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm...I think that's how Chuokhu views the world.

[ he pauses to think. ]

I get it, and having power is nice—I'm one of the strongest rappers! Few guys can get me to my knees. [ haha, but he doesn't mean it like that way for once. ]

But I've never really thought about it that much. I think achieving great power takes a lot of constraints and control, right? I just wanna do what I wanna do without needing to worry about being useful.

But if that's what you want, I think you can do it. You're more way more disciplined than me.
vogelfrei: (smile; sad; final resolve)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-08 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Being compared to Chuokhu is probably not exactly a compliment, but it doesn't sound like Ramuda is judging him either, so McGillis lets it go without inquiring on that particular point. ]

I've honed myself for it my whole life, yes.

[ Every part of him has been forged through that - even the way he can smile now had been nothing but a ploy to obtain the power known as 'charisma' at first.

McGillis pauses for a moment, then loosens his embrace. He doesn't let go just yet, but the end of this is drawing close. ]


... and I will continue to do so. This place has made me consider giving up, your presence has made me waver... but this is who I am. The ambition I hold.

[ Maybe it is for the best that Ramuda isn't his to keep. If he allowed himself to be satisfied by having another, what would be left of him...? ]
lollidrops: (Ya only got one life)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-08 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ that makes him giggle, not at mcgillis but at how everything is.

he's lucky that he dropped the cigarette he was smoking at some point during their embrace, slipped beneath the planks of the bench to the ground. because ramuda is very tiny and there is no way he can hug mcgillis without including every part of himself in it.

the end of this is drawing to a close, but ramuda as always, will make the most of the moment. he hugs him back as best as he can manage in his position and with the difference in their sizes. he's a good hugger! emphatic and someone who can never contain his emotions properly no matter how much he tries. ]


Haha...so I'm bad for you, huh? Well we both know what they say about candy. [ too much sweetness makes things rot. ]

But you're allowed to treat yourself sometimes, so don't forget that either! I'll be mad if you do!
vogelfrei: (smile; finding agnika)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-08 04:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It is a very good hug, full of wistfulness and bittersweet sentiment. McGillis let's it linger a moment longer, soaking up the warmth that he's forbidden himself from wanting and that he couldn't have, even if he hadn't.

Ramuda really is precious. There's nothing that could change that now. It's a feeling that will linger forever even long long long after he let's go for good. ]


I couldn't forget if I tried.

[ He does let go now, but his smile is warm as he does. It stings. Of course it does. He's only human, in the end.

McGillis pulls a piece of candy from his pocket. A pink one, one Ramuda had given him. ]


I may not indulge often, but I carry it with me wherever I go. It reminds me I'm not where I used to be.

[ That's about candy in general, but it fits and may explain some things. The candy vanishes back into his pocket. ]

... I just won't let myself get entangled in wondering about what could have been.
lollidrops: (A card-carrying gambler)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-08 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[ ramuda breathes out when mcgillis lets go, reaching up to fuss with his hair and his face. he's no longer crying but he's sure he looks like a mess right now and though his style is usually casual, he is aware of how he carries himself.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

okay, okay, pull it together—as much as he can anyway. mcgillis has seen him too after all and although he still wants to vibrate off this bench, he does find solace in that. that someone could see him and think he was a person, all on his own. ]


Good! [ to the first part, he needs a second on the latter.

because he's not someone who thinks like that, it goes against his nature both learned and natural. but he's been doing a lot of things he normally doesn't do lately, and this makes him pause. ]


I—[ deep breath ] I won't forget you either, obviously! Not even after we get out of here, which we will!!! And I don't think in what-if's but I'm gonna cherish what we have! What we still have! What we'll always have!
vogelfrei: (smile; absolute bastard)

[personal profile] vogelfrei 2025-12-08 05:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's McGillis' turn to need a second. Ramuda is always so energetic and it's easy to get swept along in the energy. It's felt natural weeks ago and it feels natural even now, at the closest junction he's ever been to heartbreak.

The phantom pain in his stomach is only a dull hum now, no longer an overwhelming pressure. ]


Of course. There's more to come, because we're both too stubborn to give in here.

[ His smile grows. They're still friends. Now and for the future. There are not many who can lay claim to that status in his heart. ]

Here's to us, Ramuda Amemura. To our freedom.

[ There's nothing to toast with an no need for a toast to start with but that's fine. It can just be a rallying cry. ]
Edited 2025-12-08 18:00 (UTC)
lollidrops: (I'll only get one chance)

[personal profile] lollidrops 2025-12-08 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
To our freedom and our future! [ he will punch the air like the pink gremlin he is, because they don't have anything to toast with but this is definitely worthy of one. all with a smile that's particularly bright, natural, one with all of his heart and all of his reflections.

because he believes in this, he believes in them, and he believes in their bond even now. more so, actually. ]