A different path, you say? I should hope that you realize that isn't exactly convincing?
[ Because of the state he is in.
Anaxagoras is, unfortunately, pretty sharp. Not much happens to get by him - but, he has a sneaking suspicion that this is a battle he may not win just yet.
So, while he questions him, he looks towards the furniture. ]
Well, since you are here...how about we take a moment to sit down as well? Standing around for chat is hardly worth it if we're going to take our time as usual.
[ He will go to seat himself in one of those chairs pointedly. At least if Lobelia is feeling difficult in answering questions he get him to rest his feet, he is certain, while mulling on why he looks so...off. It's deeply concerning. ]
[He's fine, he's fine! Geez, what is everyone so worried for?
...No, Lobelia knows why. It's the finer details he can't discuss with any particular ease. Following Anaxagoras, Lobelia takes a seat.]
Oui... but no difficult questions today, hm? I'm afraid I can't give our wonderful conversations the full attention they deserve today, and I would hate to disappoint you.
Anaxagoras wonders if he should thank small mercies the man at least decided to do that much. Then again if he hadn't, the Professor would have sternly and intensely looked at him until he seated his bum down. ]
You know that I am a person who thrives in difficult questions. [ ... ] Although, I also understand you are fully content to not answer my previous one as well...do be aware I will circle back around to that as well.
[ He allows a harsh sigh to release from him. ]
Talking about one's aspirations won't be too difficult for you, would it?
[Such a stern teacher... and a good one. An ideal one. Lobelia never went to school, taught first by his parents and then by his own fervent desire to learn. Would he have turned out differently if he had a proper teacher? Someone with scruples and morals to set him down the right path?
Like so many thoughts these days, this one flits quickly out of mind. Lobelia is slow to respond to Anaxagoras now, another telltale sign that something in him has begun to die.]
Something like that? Non, probably not. Very well then, professeur... what knowledge do you hunger for now?
[ Anaxagoras feels the weight of concern lean heavily inside of him like a powerful stone; because it is so unlike Lobelia to do anything other than respond with...full of life. Is there anything that can be done about this? He'll force himself to believe so when he brings it up later...and so, his hands fold perfectly in his lap, composed. ]
Yes, something like that.
What are some of the things you imagined yourself becoming? Or doing, for that matter?
[ One's aspirations - their dreams - can change over time. Simple enough indeed. ]
[...Lobelia smiles wryly. He isn't used to being looked at the way Anaxagoras is looking at him now. He isn't used to feeling like he's taken something from someone without ever intending to. This is the burden of having others in your life. This is the weight of a wish he'd made without considering the consequences.]
I never thought much about the shape of my future. As I child, I had no particular vocation in mind... merely a fascination with sound and the lessons handed down by my parents.
In so many words, I simply wanted to be happyβ just as my Maman and Papa wished for me to be.
[ Get used to it, Lobelia. Bonds that are made none-so-lightly have their effects, for better or worse. Anaxagoras learned that early on himself, but he has no regrets...he just hopes deeply and strongly he can do something about this. ]
...Hm.
Not many move forward through life with a simple desire. In a way, it can be said to be pure, depending on how it was pursued.
[ He muses on the thought, wondering if that is a wish that the man would reach for with all of his heart, if he has the chance to grasp it. Seeing him now, like this, he thinks he can imagine it - but, even so, "being happy" is not necessarily guaranteed to be a permanent state. So, maybe not. ]
Now that you're not a child...do you have a vision for your ideal future? What happiness that might take shape of, even now?
[Pure. Lobelia may have been if he hadn't strayed down the wrong path, but that's the path he chose, isn't it? Simple wishes, heartfelt desires... but none of it shines through the taint of blood on his hands.
Even then, Lobelia isn't inclined to disagree. It's the sort of wish everyone has, isn't it? That in itself makes it pure in its simplicity, but like so many things, Lobelia makes it filthy. Happiness has come at a cost. Nothing in life is free. Everyone's suffering for his happiness, same as it's ever been.]
I prefer to live in the here and now. The future is a nebulous thing, after all... ever-changing. Too many variables beyond our control.
[That's part of it, but not all of it.]
But here? I found happinessβ fleeting, as always. My precious amis? You've seen them fall ill, kill one another, be consumed by the earth and dragged into hell. It's almost poetic, wouldn't you say?
[ How about un-straying yourself from the path, Lobelia? It is never too late...or at least, that is in an ideal world.
But, for the first part. Anaxagoras knows well that line of thought. Looking far out into the future is something he hadn't personally done until he was brought here - he was always encouraging others to do that. The second part...? ]
I do agree with it being prudent to live in the present. But, for that other matter?
"Almost poetic"? Because you saw them lose their lives and was unable to do anything about it? Because it represented the fleeting nature of happiness for you?
Just so you know, that sounds like nonsense to me. I should hope no one else would say otherwise if you were to utter such words to them.
[ He hears that amusement, wow! Perhaps he was wrong in believing Lobelia might say something like 'it'd be poetic if I joined them...' though, the fact that he mentions 'coping' is another indication there is a heavy weight on his shoulders. He is no Phainon or Mydei; still, he'll try to give some support. ]
Hmph. I tend to judge fairly, yes. [ Maybe if some heard Lobelia say this, they would have started yelling, actually. Ah, well, he sighs... ] Such is the nature of a Professor who doesn't think like a doddering old fool caught up in preconceived notions or traditions well left behind in the past.
Whatever the case, if you're being candid in such sentiments, I won't ignore it. Telling myself this much...perhaps I should have thought to bring a drink or two. It might've assisted in taking some of the edge off.
[ He's shared drinks with a few people here...but, alas hindsight is 20/20, he supposes. ]
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no subject
A different path, you say? I should hope that you realize that isn't exactly convincing?
[ Because of the state he is in.
Anaxagoras is, unfortunately, pretty sharp. Not much happens to get by him - but, he has a sneaking suspicion that this is a battle he may not win just yet.
So, while he questions him, he looks towards the furniture. ]
Well, since you are here...how about we take a moment to sit down as well? Standing around for chat is hardly worth it if we're going to take our time as usual.
[ He will go to seat himself in one of those chairs pointedly. At least if Lobelia is feeling difficult in answering questions he get him to rest his feet, he is certain, while mulling on why he looks so...off. It's deeply concerning. ]
no subject
...No, Lobelia knows why. It's the finer details he can't discuss with any particular ease. Following Anaxagoras, Lobelia takes a seat.]
Oui... but no difficult questions today, hm? I'm afraid I can't give our wonderful conversations the full attention they deserve today, and I would hate to disappoint you.
no subject
Anaxagoras wonders if he should thank small mercies the man at least decided to do that much. Then again if he hadn't, the Professor would have sternly and intensely looked at him until he seated his bum down. ]
You know that I am a person who thrives in difficult questions. [ ... ] Although, I also understand you are fully content to not answer my previous one as well...do be aware I will circle back around to that as well.
[ He allows a harsh sigh to release from him. ]
Talking about one's aspirations won't be too difficult for you, would it?
no subject
Like so many thoughts these days, this one flits quickly out of mind. Lobelia is slow to respond to Anaxagoras now, another telltale sign that something in him has begun to die.]
Something like that? Non, probably not. Very well then, professeur... what knowledge do you hunger for now?
1/2
2/2
Yes, something like that.
What are some of the things you imagined yourself becoming? Or doing, for that matter?
[ One's aspirations - their dreams - can change over time. Simple enough indeed. ]
no subject
I never thought much about the shape of my future. As I child, I had no particular vocation in mind... merely a fascination with sound and the lessons handed down by my parents.
In so many words, I simply wanted to be happyβ just as my Maman and Papa wished for me to be.
no subject
...Hm.
Not many move forward through life with a simple desire. In a way, it can be said to be pure, depending on how it was pursued.
[ He muses on the thought, wondering if that is a wish that the man would reach for with all of his heart, if he has the chance to grasp it. Seeing him now, like this, he thinks he can imagine it - but, even so, "being happy" is not necessarily guaranteed to be a permanent state. So, maybe not. ]
Now that you're not a child...do you have a vision for your ideal future? What happiness that might take shape of, even now?
no subject
Even then, Lobelia isn't inclined to disagree. It's the sort of wish everyone has, isn't it? That in itself makes it pure in its simplicity, but like so many things, Lobelia makes it filthy. Happiness has come at a cost. Nothing in life is free. Everyone's suffering for his happiness, same as it's ever been.]
I prefer to live in the here and now. The future is a nebulous thing, after all... ever-changing. Too many variables beyond our control.
[That's part of it, but not all of it.]
But here? I found happinessβ fleeting, as always. My precious amis? You've seen them fall ill, kill one another, be consumed by the earth and dragged into hell. It's almost poetic, wouldn't you say?
no subject
But, for the first part. Anaxagoras knows well that line of thought. Looking far out into the future is something he hadn't personally done until he was brought here - he was always encouraging others to do that. The second part...? ]
I do agree with it being prudent to live in the present. But, for that other matter?
"Almost poetic"? Because you saw them lose their lives and was unable to do anything about it? Because it represented the fleeting nature of happiness for you?
Just so you know, that sounds like nonsense to me. I should hope no one else would say otherwise if you were to utter such words to them.
no subject
I am sure the others would be furious with me if I aired my honest feelings, but I can trust you not to judge me unfairly.
You don't have to agree with my reasoning, nor my handling of the situation. We all cope as best we can, oui?
no subject
Hmph. I tend to judge fairly, yes. [ Maybe if some heard Lobelia say this, they would have started yelling, actually. Ah, well, he sighs... ] Such is the nature of a Professor who doesn't think like a doddering old fool caught up in preconceived notions or traditions well left behind in the past.
Whatever the case, if you're being candid in such sentiments, I won't ignore it. Telling myself this much...perhaps I should have thought to bring a drink or two. It might've assisted in taking some of the edge off.
[ He's shared drinks with a few people here...but, alas hindsight is 20/20, he supposes. ]