PC - Hansa

[maladied]

Comments

[robopriest]

[It is quiet.]

[Hansa wanders in, glancing around. No sign of the Frenchman.]

[He puts his hands on his hips.]

Standing me up? Not very gentlemanly of you, Lobelia.

[conchy]

[Such a rude date. Hansa should have turned him down. Instead, his date approaches him in silence — a skill Lobelia has honed over the years — and snatches Hansa from behind.]

Boo.

[His laughter rings mischievous against the shell of Hansa's ear. Again, you accepted a date from this man? Terrible taste.]

[robopriest]

...!

[He was like THIS CLOSE to letting his arm slide back to wallop the man like a club, but-]

[A little inhale and exhale. Hoo. Also OUCHHHHHHH this touching is hurting OW-]

This is no way to say hello. You scared me.

[conchy]

Oui, oui. I should give you a proper greeting befitting of a date, non?

[And he thinks about it. He lingers in his space before he ultimately lets go, loosening his hold on Hansa and circling around to face him.]

Ah, but alas! Touching you would only bring you pain. I will refrain for your sake.

[robopriest]

Is this a date?

[He is a little disgruntled about it, glancing down as the man releases him - the pain abates, and he heaves a sigh.]

Doesn't it cause you pain, too?

[conchy]

[Lobelia pouts, burying his hands in his coat pockets.]

Oui! A date! Your lack of enthusiasm wounds me.

[There's a thread of truth behind that statement, but one Lobelia glosses over in favor of answering Hansa's other question.]

Mm. It hurts me just as it hurts you. But pain has never been reason enough for me to avoid someone I enjoy.

[robopriest]

Come now. I'm still a holy man. You're tugging me into a blasphemous situation, here.

[Said lightly...as if he didn't offer a date to Yugamu..............]

We don't have to interact expecting pain. Lobelia. [A little chiding.] Anyways, show me around, why don't you.

[conchy]

And yet you've kissed me, Père. Hardly the actions of a pious man.

[But who is Lobelia to judge Hansa and his questionable taste? With a shrug, Lobelia leads on, paying Hansa's gentle chiding little mind.]

Come along, then. I'll show you where the bodies are kept.

[Lobelia wanders back towards the kitchen...]

[robopriest]

You kissed me, not the other way around.

[SMH....]


[And then its



huh?]

....Wait. What?

[conchy]

Shall we start keeping score, then? I don't mind. I have a good memory.

[Ah, but something seems to have thrown Hansa off. Lobelia tips his head to one side, quizzical.]

Is something wrong? Don't tell me you've gotten cold feet...

[robopriest]

Are you joking? About the bodies.

[conchy]

What does your intuition tell you...?

[robopriest]

You're not joking.





This is an awful date if it is one.

[conchy]

[Lobelia laughs. He thought Hansa might doubt him. Lose faith in him, if he had it to begin with. It's so funny it hurts.]

Ça me fait mal quand tu ne crois pas en moi. No, Hansa. There are no bodies to be found. My apologies for making a joke in poor taste.

[robopriest]

....Well, you can't say I didn't believe you?

[But he will come a bit closer.]

[conchy]

[And Lobelia will step back. His smile is effortless, something well-worn and easy to slip into even when it doesn't reach his eyes. His hands fold neatly behind his back, a quiet withdrawal masked as poise.]

I suppose I cannot fault you for caution.

[Lobelia turns on his heel to continue on towards the kitchen.]

Come. I'll still give you your tour. No more jokes, oui? Only the disappointment that this is but a humble restaurant— one of many from my travels.

[robopriest]

[He sees that light not reaching the man's eyes - and there's a twinge of something in his chest at it.]

No, I like it. It has a certain. Je nay say qua?

[BAD BUTCHERING OF FRENCH]

[conchy]

[First he hurts his feelings and then he insults his native tongue????? Lobelia looks at him flatly over his shoulder.]

Right. A certain je ne sais quoi. Honestly... maybe there ought to be bodies in the fridge.

[STARTING WITH HANSA'S]

[robopriest]

Por favor, perdóname.

[He laughs a little.]

Really. I'm just making a little fun. I'm not here to get on your nerves.

[conchy]

Oui? I'm afraid I don't follow.

[Now he knows how other people feel when he gets aggressively French at them. Will anything change? Hell no.]

Mm, but you are skilled at getting on people's nerves when you choose to be, aren't you? When did you acquire such a bad habit?

[robopriest]

Please. Forgive me.

[PLEASE LOBELIA YOUR HYPOCRITICISM...]

You know, I don't know. I just feel like it's a way to bully big men who bully the little guy. My form of rebellion.

[conchy]

There's nothing to forgive, Père. Let your mind be at ease.

[FORGIVENESS NOT GRANTED, HE MAD]

Je vois... Bullying for a good cause, is it? But you enjoy it too. You are not without your questionable vices.

[robopriest]

I insulted you just now. I saw it. Did I not?

[You know...he will start to turn away.]

Perhaps I should leave. I clearly started off on the wrong foot. Even my enjoyment can take me too far.

[conchy]

[...]

You were willing to believe I would stash bodies in a restaurant freezer. I can't fault you for that.

[But still... Lobelia hesitates. More than Hansa, he's frustrated with himself.]

It shouldn't bother me.

[And yet it does.]

[robopriest]

Hahaa! Oh. You misunderstood. I didn't think you stored the bodies. I just thought this place would have them to make them more miserable.

[A tilt of the head.]

I can see why that was taken as such. Should have clarified. And anyways, it was an off-color joke. Even for you.