![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
GRAVEYARD
THE MUSEUM
So, you’ve met your end and regardless of your beliefs, the expectation is that is where things end. Rebirth. Damnation. Salvation. A simple black screen… None of those things happen; how (un)fortunate for you. How jarring it must be to have your last moments not be your final moments. On the bright side, all the injuries you’ve sustained are no longer present. You’re as good as new!
Now, whether you’ve met your end violently, peacefully, or something between the two, you’ll find yourself sat in front of a sprawling behemoth of a wall tastefully covered from floor to ceiling (where is the ceiling?) with various objects on display. All of them carefully and neatly framed or kept safe within a box attached to the wall. Not only that, but there are cages hanging from the “ceiling” that contain even more objects for viewing. However, other than the walls, the hanging cages, and the bench—there is no padding on the bench; only a cold, hard surface that does not give—you find yourself sitting on, the rest of this room is completely empty.
At least, after giving a survey of the area, it will be obvious that it isn’t an enclosed space. There is an opening to a hallway—hopefully. Only one way to find out. Spoilers, there are many, many, many other rooms that make up this place.
Oh, but just what is all out on display?
Well, it varies and depends on who is looking. The hanging cages contain skeletons of creatures from home. Whose home? Your home. It’s the same story for everything that has been framed. They’re all images, items, objects—things—from home. Your home. Fortunately, not everything is familiar as unfamiliar items are included in equal parts. How did they all get here? What are they all doing here?
Have you considered the similarities between a museum and a graveyard? Both are places where the living go to marvel at the dead.
Now, whether you’ve met your end violently, peacefully, or something between the two, you’ll find yourself sat in front of a sprawling behemoth of a wall tastefully covered from floor to ceiling (where is the ceiling?) with various objects on display. All of them carefully and neatly framed or kept safe within a box attached to the wall. Not only that, but there are cages hanging from the “ceiling” that contain even more objects for viewing. However, other than the walls, the hanging cages, and the bench—there is no padding on the bench; only a cold, hard surface that does not give—you find yourself sitting on, the rest of this room is completely empty.
At least, after giving a survey of the area, it will be obvious that it isn’t an enclosed space. There is an opening to a hallway—hopefully. Only one way to find out. Spoilers, there are many, many, many other rooms that make up this place.
Oh, but just what is all out on display?
Well, it varies and depends on who is looking. The hanging cages contain skeletons of creatures from home. Whose home? Your home. It’s the same story for everything that has been framed. They’re all images, items, objects—things—from home. Your home. Fortunately, not everything is familiar as unfamiliar items are included in equal parts. How did they all get here? What are they all doing here?
Have you considered the similarities between a museum and a graveyard? Both are places where the living go to marvel at the dead.
EXHIBIT #04 - COMFORT
Likely the first room that you’ll come across after moving from the initial room. This room feels just as grand and just as empty as that room, but at least the walls aren’t covered in things from (your) home. 
Instead, there will be surfaces to claim, if you wish. Beds, sofas, couches, chaises lounge, bean bags, you name it—if someone could consider it comfortable then it will be present in all shapes, sizes, and variations. The only real catch is that each surface will be displayed individually and cannot be moved. Obviously.
Against one of the walls is a very small plaque that reads:
[ FOR DISPLAY ONLY – DO NOT TOUCH ]
Oops.
Instead, there will be surfaces to claim, if you wish. Beds, sofas, couches, chaises lounge, bean bags, you name it—if someone could consider it comfortable then it will be present in all shapes, sizes, and variations. The only real catch is that each surface will be displayed individually and cannot be moved. Obviously.
Against one of the walls is a very small plaque that reads:
[ FOR DISPLAY ONLY – DO NOT TOUCH ]
Oops.
EXHIBIT #09 - VIEWING
What’s a museum without some sort of media installation, hm?
For this room, there is only one thing and one thing only—a projector. For much of the time the projector being on (you can’t turn it off. In fact, where is the projector?), it won’t be displaying anything but a white light on the blank wall opposite of it.
However, while the wall is blank, every so often it’s possible to hear faint voices coming from above. Especially during the night before—you know.
For this room, there is only one thing and one thing only—a projector. For much of the time the projector being on (you can’t turn it off. In fact, where is the projector?), it won’t be displaying anything but a white light on the blank wall opposite of it.
However, while the wall is blank, every so often it’s possible to hear faint voices coming from above. Especially during the night before—you know.
EXHIBIT #03 - GARDEN
It’s here that you can finally see the ceiling even if it’s still more of a “sky” than a true ceiling. 
Those with keen eyes will be able to tell that it’s an artificial sky, and, for those who are less aware, then how it randomly flickers should help with that. Or not. Regardless, the presence of a “sky” isn’t the only surprising thing about this room—it might not even be the first thing that goes noticed. Despite all the expansive and seemingly never-ending hallways that lead to rooms that are void of anything living, this room is alive. Somehow.
A small plaque on the wall will describe this exhibit as an “interactive” medium with gentle suggestions to not be too rough with anything. This exhibition will be a picturesque garden full of all kinds of flowers and plants with a small pond with lily pads and lotus located towards the center of the room. The only physical structure within this room is a very small and simple gazebo containing two chairs and a small table. Perfect for having afternoon tea—if that’s your kind of thing. However, if you were hoping to listen to any bird song, look at what animals have taken residence in the pond, or generally any other kind of life then you’ll be disappointed.
Those with keen eyes will be able to tell that it’s an artificial sky, and, for those who are less aware, then how it randomly flickers should help with that. Or not. Regardless, the presence of a “sky” isn’t the only surprising thing about this room—it might not even be the first thing that goes noticed. Despite all the expansive and seemingly never-ending hallways that lead to rooms that are void of anything living, this room is alive. Somehow.
A small plaque on the wall will describe this exhibit as an “interactive” medium with gentle suggestions to not be too rough with anything. This exhibition will be a picturesque garden full of all kinds of flowers and plants with a small pond with lily pads and lotus located towards the center of the room. The only physical structure within this room is a very small and simple gazebo containing two chairs and a small table. Perfect for having afternoon tea—if that’s your kind of thing. However, if you were hoping to listen to any bird song, look at what animals have taken residence in the pond, or generally any other kind of life then you’ll be disappointed.
EXHIBIT # — ???
Nothing is on display in this room; all that is there is just empty walls, empty “ceilings”, empty floors…
The only thing that can be found is a small, simple white card free from any kind of writing. A completely blank card. If you try to take it out of the room, it will instantly disappear from wherever it was stored and return to the room.
The only thing that can be found is a small, simple white card free from any kind of writing. A completely blank card. If you try to take it out of the room, it will instantly disappear from wherever it was stored and return to the room.
no subject
Me too! [ he lost control of the car like two weeks in and hasn't really known which way is up since. ]
Me and Yuki and Maomao and Reiju have been doing our best to get the hell out of here! The rest of em' is just one mopey corner, except Amaya.
no subject
I'll join you in that endeavor. This is not how I want to end.
[ Powerlessly, pointlessly. ]
Thank you for your message on the board, by the way. I couldn't make as much of it as I wanted, for obvious reasons, but it was helpful.
no subject
[ like yeah half of it was strategic but don't put it past ramuda to use messages on someone who can't use them properly because-
-that's exactly what he did with his other use and he has no shame. he's just lucky that mcgillis is smart and proactive. ]
no subject
[ He did miss Ramuda. The ease he feels around him is unique among the people here, even if some might have gotten close now.
But this also brings him back to all he was trying to say via the board that wasn't sufficient then. ]
I said it before but I don't believe I understood you at all before you died. Even so, I'm glad you're still here.
no subject
[ even now he still would prefer people not Look at him.
but mcgillis is different and he is trying this...well he's trying this slowly with people he trusts or people he's forced to let in. mcgillis is definitely in the former, at least.
he gives their joined hands a squeeze. ]
no subject
[ Which is why he got close to Ramuda to begin with. That feeling of a shared understanding that others can't see - and not all of that had been mistaken. Their distance from most the others was a shared common ground to work with.
He glances down at their hands for a moment, and thinks that he should probably stop this now. He doesn't, not yet. ]
I was arrogant.
no subject
You were! [ how brightly he says this, but with no particular malice. ] But if ya had pushed me on it, I definitely would have yelled at you ☆.
no subject
You would? I had assumed you were warning me to not cross the line and try to render the unspoken spoken.
[ He'd been so totally wrong. It's almost funny. ]
Which was fair. It's not as though I would appreciate someone trying to cross that line with me either.
no subject
[ is it better or worse that mcgillis didn't push ramuda then? hmm. ]
I don't like being seen. [ because it's dangerous, because it shows your weaknesses. he wiggles his fingers against mcgillis palm. ] But you get that, right?
I've kinda had to give up on that though, at least a little. I wanna be alive again and that comes first! And I totally told you some stuff already before I died, cause I really do like you and trust you.
You really are special to me, McGillis.
[ he does not address the elephant in the room because he does not realize there is an elephant to begin with. as always, ramuda amemura feels and thinks and does. ]
no subject
It's a strange thing. Ramuda is not the only person in the world that he cares for, far from it, but he's also special in his own way. Could have been more special. But... ]
Am I?
[ He does squeeze Ramuda's hand here, but then he let's go. ]
I wonder how I and Lobelia are different to you.
no subject
...maybe he should have expected that and it makes him feel something he can't immediately place. he needs to occupy his hands now, so he reaches into his hoodie to pull out a lollipop, unwrapping it and sticking it into his mouth as he hums. it's orange. ]
Do you want to know? I probably owe that to you. No, I definitely do. [ a little less peppy than his usual, but still in the voice he speaks with the most here.
he didn't see the elephant but he's not entirely blind either. rather, he's used to looking at things in such a way where elephants or any other animals never existed to him in the first place. ]
no subject
There's a mismatch here and after all the trouble just Assuming has brought lately, he wants to draw the lines again. ]
I'd like to, yes.
[ He just died. Might as well plunge the knife in deeper and have a conversation of the kind he'd normally never have. ]
no subject
now that they're no longer holding hands, he pulls his knees up to his chest to get more comfortable and not for any other reason (so he thinks, but the truth is he doesn't quite know right now, he's exhausted in a certain kind of way and there's nothing for it but to push through it.) ]
Ooookay. First of all! I like who I like and I do things with them that I like and I don't think too hard on it. Why would I? I could die tomorrow, I did die so what's the point in holding back? One way or another, those things never last.
[ whether he cuts them off or is forced to cut them off is another story entirely, but that's almost another topic. ]
So I meant what I said to you in the arcade. [ what happened in a universe without the effects of that week or without yugamu crashing their party? ]
Part of me still means it. [ crunch goes the hard sugar in his mouth, the sharp edges some kind of relief compared to everything else he's feeling. ]
I don't commit to relationships and I don't trust people. But I messed up. [ he's so defective and he's aware of that more every day he clings to this facsimile of a life.
the cigarette he fishes from his pocket is lit in short order. ]
...you've both seen a lot of me. More than I ever wanted to show. But he—he's seen all of me. He wouldn't let me run away. Even when I went to scream at him after trial he...
[ the details don't matter here, do they? ramuda shakes his head.
there's still that wiggling part of him that wants to scream at lobelia again, but this is who he is. emotional, volatile, cruel, desperate, childish, holding onto these things he was never supposed to have. ]
...we figured something out then. [ his eyes close briefly as he presses the cigarette to his lips. ] Or he did and I didn't really get it fully until after.
Sorry for not being able to say this all sooner. I want to stuff that prick into a barrel and make him explode all over Tokyo bay for trying to rub that in your face.
[ the way in which he hates althahaim is layered and nuanced, but it really has nothing to do with ramuda actually feeling jealous. it truly is a terrible combination of being a know it all and fucking with his people. ]
Anyway, that doesn't make what I felt for you fake or a lie. Or that you're really important to me.
no subject
I know.
[ It would be a lot more convenient if he just didn't believe Ramuda. Call it all a lie, himself a man betrayed, and then let it make him grow even more angry and bitter than he already is. Case closed.
This is messier. ]
And I understand the feeling. I messed up in the same way.
[ Every unguarded thing he's said, every promise he's made to Ramuda. They were horrible mistakes that McGillis would like to think he'd never have made under ordinary circumstances.
He leans back and looks up at the endless distance to an invisible museum sky. ]
You should be proud of yourself. You made me consider breaking my solitude. Nobody's done that before.
[ But obviously, that consideration is off the table now. ]
no subject
it's his right of course, but that makes something in ramuda's chest bloom angrily. ]
Proud of myself?
no subject
He wishes he was angry enough at Ramuda to wish to blow all this up and completely uproot their bond. But he doesn't. He doesn't have enough to turn to without it. ]
It means you're precious to me too, despite all my defenses.
no subject
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. he pulls out another one and lights it, swallowing the smoke like he wishes he could swallow his emotions. ]
You're so— [ :worryexplodekirby: ]
...do you know what I am, McGillis?
no subject
I don't.
[ Something is certainly up with the way he needs to be kept alive, but McGillis doesn't know the particulars of it. ]
Though I can't imagine that the information would make me change my mind significantly.
no subject
fuck it! ]
I'm a clone, just one of however many fucking Ramuda Amemura's that Amayado's pulled together in his lab. Actually, Chuohku's probably barely noticed I've been gone since they'll just roll out another me!
Though no, Ichijiku's definitely noticed cause the others all WORK and aren't defective like I am, with emotions I'm not supposed to have!
So saying that I'm precious really is just so— [ he laughs and just buries his head in his knees.
he wishes he could say he didn't believe it. but he does at this point, he does unequivocally, but it still makes all of him tremble. ]
cw for mention of csa
It suddenly makes sense that despite all his misunderstandings of who Ramuda is as a person, despite the way all those pesky feelings sit so wrongly with McGillis, he hasn't been able to let go.
Ramuda is curled up into a ball besides him and he looks a lot like a child this way. Like Almiria. Like himself from so long ago.
McGillis turns to the side and wraps his arms around him. ]
You're the only one I've met. And the only one I need to meet.
[ Precious. An encounter equally blessed and misfortunate. ]
My father has a summer house.
[ A total nonsequitor on its face, but he doesn't wait for answer and just continues. ]
It's where he keeps dozens of blonde little boys, all according to his fetish. It's the only reason I'm here today. One of many 'little angels', fighting my way out of the bunch.
[ It's good that he doesn't need to look at Ramuda's face in the current position. It's easier to talk, that way. ]
All that matters is wanting to fly free. For you and for me.
no subject
he doesn't expect the hug nor does he expect the words that follow, not a single one.
he's shaking more than a little and is definitely crying, but held like this he knows no one will see it. even if mcgillis can likely feel it. he needs the quiet, the warmth between them to find words again, to find his voice; a blend of his natural voice and his usual one. he's a mix of all his reflections right now and it shows easily in his voice, given the type of person he is. ]
...I want to. And I want you to, too.
Wherever, whatever, you want to do. [ destroy that summer house, take over the world, become a golden hero for the new ages; ramuda thinks mcgillis deserves it all. ]
no subject
I might have lost sight of what that is.
[ It terrifies him. All that he's built himself up to be is crumbling under the weight of not only cosmic horror but also the very base fact that he himself is changing. That he's the kind of person who would be so sincere that someone else can cry. ]
no subject
[ maybe the words are ironic coming from a clone, but ramuda learned long ago about what being "original" is to him.
it's why he values what he does, who he does, the hues and people who stand out in a storm and who stubbornly refuse to bend to the tide. ]
no subject
And it's not what he is like either.
He's not a liar, and this is not an act. Who he truly is... is simply someone between seats. Hidden in the shadows, forever half-seen and half-unseen. ]
You truly find poetry in this space in-between.
no subject
I gotta...my life usually depends on it. I'm sure you'll take to it well too.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)